Blog Category: Holiday

Hey there!  I'm Carrie!  Wife to my best friend Matt, crunchy mama of 4, adventure and fun seeker, cheer coach, daughter of the most-high King!  I am drawn to bright, bold colors!  I'm a dreamer, a lover of nature, spontaneous and I love meeting new people!  Did I mention I like FUN?!  I do!!!  I'm a Sapphire (Blue) Personality!  

After hanging out with me a short time, you will see my passion for my husband, my love for my kids/family, and my zeal for life!  I am a lover of positivity and as much as I would love to say my life has always been that way...it hasn't.  It's not been an easy journey.  There have been many falls, twists and turn that God has brought me through to get to this point.

From a very young age, I started to experience what I would tell my parents was "a spell".  I would get these horrible scary feelings and question "Why are we here?" or  "Who am I?"  These episodes made me feel embarrassed and scared...I didn't want anyone to know except my mom and dad.  

Fast forward to my early 20's, I remember my mom calling me and saying she had clipped an article out of a magazine on anxiety for me.  She said that the article reminded her of what I used to experience as a kid...which I still was experiencing just less frequently at that point.  There was this sense of peace...I was normal...it was just anxiety.  Just that little article clipping made me feel I was not alone.

Out of what seemed like the blue, I was at an event with my sister and became dizzy and off-balance.  My heart started to race and I was having a hard time breathing. I had never experienced anything like this.  My sister began to drive me home and in the car I literally thought I was dying. I though I was having a heart attack.  I couldn't catch my breath, thoughts of my kids not having a mom was racing through my head, my stomach was sick feeling and I felt just incredibly weak. I was terrified!   We called 9-1-1 which told us to get to the hospital close by. 

At the hospital, the doctor did chest x-rays, gave me oxygen (which seemed to do nothing to help me feel like I could breath), did blood tests and everything came back normal. I was confused and relieved all at once.  The doctor then asked me if my lips and hands tingling.  I said "Yes!"  He looked at me and said, "You had a severe panic attack.  You need to evaluate your life and see where all this stress is coming from."

My anxiety after that only grew.  I was going through stressful, huge life-altering events, and I was having panic attacks multiple times a day.  The smallest things could trigger them....lighting, being around certain people or a memory coming to mind.  I could feel it start in my chest and build up from there...racing heart, short of breath, feel like my throat was closing, sickness in my stomach or just feeling extreme panic...I just wanted to run and get to my safe spot.  

I began to feel like a prisoner in my own body.  My world seemed to be swirling out of control with my anxiety.  I wasn't sleeping, I was dropping rapid amounts of weight.  My gynecologist wanted to put me on an anti-anxiety and anti-depressant for a few months to help me get through the thick of where my life was.  At first the medication bought a relief from the extreme panic but as a couple months passed I noticed the side effects.  I felt numb...I wasn't me...I was a shell but my personality was gone.  No matter what happened I felt like flat-lined...no exciting highs or feeling low.  And as much as I dislike feeling sad, I wanted to feel emotions again...I wanted to feel the passion God had given me in my mother's womb.

So I decided to slowly weaned myself off the medication.  My life at this point was in a wonderful place...a great marriage and a thriving family.  During my weaning I experienced awful withdrawal side effects from a medication that was supposed to be non-habit forming.  Thank God he made me a determined girl.  During the weaning process, my panic attacks came back but I was determined with God's help and my husband's support that I could overcome this naturally.  I did extensive studying of alternative, natural ways to get rid of the anxiety.

I am here to tell you the bondage of anxiety, panic doesn't have to be your outcome...you can break free from those chains. Your life can be completely different, you can live in complete freedom from the weight of worry, stress and anxiety. I see so many burdened by anxiety, where I used to be!  God's been tugging at my heart to open up and share with others how they also can find this freedom.  

Think about a day, a week, a month, a year free from anxiety attacks.  What would that be like?  Think about living a life where fear no longer holds you back from pursuing your dreams...to be adventurous!  Life can be different for you!

Are you ready to kick fear in the face?  Are you looking for a community of girls looking to rise up and stop the cycle of fear and anxiety?  I invite you to be a part of our adventurous, warrior-spirited girls group that is saying God created me for more and anxiety is not who I am and I WILL overcome it!

If this is you girl, reach out to me!  I am excited to take this journey with you!